Anger Management

“Be angry, and do not sin”: do not let the sun go down on your wrath.” 

Ephesians 4:26

Don’t condemn yourself if you get angry. It is normal to get angry—it is your response to the anger that is important. You can direct your anger to positive things; be angry, but do not sin—don’t go to bed with anger.

It is very important how you process anger. Proverbs 14:7 says, “Go from the presence of a foolish man, when you do not perceive in him the lips of knowledge.” If you don’t deal with anger, you will act foolishly. Some people have died as a result of anger.

“Do not hasten in your spirit to be angry, For anger rests in the bosom of fools.” 
Ecclesiastes 7:9

Anger labels you a fool. Anger is a strong emotion of displeasure—response to events or situations that displeases. This emotion is so strong that it affects your lungs, stomach and eyes—it affects most organs in the body.

The more spiritually mature you are, the less angry you get. Most anger cannot be justified; a lot of times, people get angry unnecessarily. It is important to learn how to process and manage anger. Getting angry is not a sin, but your response to it in thoughts, words and actions might be. The enemy wants to use your anger against you. But the good news is, you can control your anger.

If you walk in love at home, you will be able to walk in love anywhere. The home is where your true character is tested. If you don’t learn to manage anger before marriage, it will get worse in marriage.

Let’s take a look at some of the causes of anger;

• Fear of lack—the fear of tomorrow breeds anger
• People with a critical personality get upset easily. However, anybody can change in the presence of God’s Word. Don’t go around looking for reasons to get angry
• Some people come from a family background where anger is always the order of the day
• Selfishness and self-centeredness is another cause of anger; people are naturally selfish—only the Word and the Spirit of God can make us selfless
• Menstrual cycle/hormonal imbalance is another cause of anger in women—this is a curse, you shouldn’t remain like that as a child of God; get scriptures and address it/take authority over it; if you excuse it, the devil will keep using it against you
• Having a low self-esteem and being unduly possessive make you susceptible to getting angry easily
• Not getting enough sleep and overworking yourself will make you susceptible to anger
• Poor diet makes you susceptible to anger
• Lack of sex in marriage is a major cause of anger in men
• When you have perfectionist tendencies, you get angry easily. Know this—you are not perfect; don’t expect other people to be perfect. It is pride to expect perfection from others—you are obviously thinking too highly of yourself

Anger begets anger

“A soft answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise uses knowledge rightly, But the mouth of fools pours forth foolishness.” 
Proverbs 15:1

The anger of man does not work the righteousness of God [James 1:20]. Don’t make people objects of your anger. Don’t excuse your sins while you judge other people. Learn to see things from other people’s perspectives. Once you start feeling depressed or unhappy, deal with it with God’s Words. Don’t play with the devil by letting negative emotions linger—take authority by meditating on and confessing the Word. Don’t entertain cranky feelings. Anger that is not dealt with will end up destroying you.

“By pride comes nothing but strife, But with the well-advised is wisdom.” 
Proverbs 13:10

Process your anger, don’t just react—think and ask for the help of the Holy Spirit before you respond. Talk to yourself—make excuses for other people’s mistakes; confess scriptures to deal with the anger before you respond. Excuse yourself and be alone with the Word of God and the Holy Spirit before you respond. The Word of God helps to neutralize your response.

Anger makes you ugly

Don’t use your anger as a control mechanism to have your way and get what you want; Don’t control other people with anger—it is devilish; Don’t be quick to respond—have a self-talk and talk with God; access the help of the Holy spirit; excuse the mistakes of others.

Anger is an enemy, don’t justify it. Don’t express yourself in anger. Meditate on your response before giving it a voice. If you don’t know how to process your anger, you are a defenseless person. Learn to hold back anger; don’t internalize it, deal with it with the Word of God and the help of the Holy Spirit.

Anger management is a proof of maturity.

Confession [James 1:19]:

• I am quick to listen
• I am slow to speak
• I am slow to anger